“Happiest Season” is toxic, but you already knew that.
I’ve seen Hulu’s new lesbian Christmas Rom-Com twice and honestly, I didn’t consider it romantic or comedic. The first time was on a date (cue awkward gay silence when the movie ended), and the second time was a hatewatch with some of my LGBTQ+ friends. Based on their reactions and social media, I feel justified in saying this is the most toxic relationship in a holiday movie- or movie in general- I’ve seen in a while.
Basing movies around queer suffering isn’t new, but I was shocked at just how toxic of a relationship was shown. Here are the SparkNotes: Abby (Kristen Stewart) and Harper (Mackenzie Davis) are dating, and Harper plans to visit her WASPy family for the holidays. Abby isn’t a fan of Christmas since losing her parents but she accepts Harper’s invite to join her family. It isn’t until they’re on the road that we see the oldest gay conflict in the book- Harper’s parents don’t know she’s gay and she plans to pass Abby off as her roommate. Hijinks ensue as they try to keep their relationship under wraps, nearly getting found out because they can’t keep it in their pants for a few days. The B plot is full of rich white people problems- Harper’s father is running for office and needs a perfect family image (which excludes a lesbian daughter). Sloane, of Harper’s sister with The Shining-esque twins and a ‘perfect’ marriage, has a perpetual chip on her shoulder and is hellbent on ruining Harper’s life. Abby is pushed to the background after being continually ditched by Harper to do her father’s bidding. Fan-favorite Aubrey Plaza plays Riley, an outcast daughter of family friends, who we later find out had a romantic relationship with Harper.
Riley’s character represents one of the biggest gripes with the film- she shows how terrible of a person Harper truly is. After being ditched yet again by her girlfriend, Abby finds herself getting drinks and bonding with Riley at a drag show(I think we all wish it was more than that). Riley reveals she and Harper dated, and when they were caught, Harper outed Riley and claimed she herself was straight. Though this isn’t unheard of, it’s most certainly an unforgiveable thing to do. We can try to give Harper the benefit of the doubt and brush this off as a teenage act of self-preservation, but Harper earns her devil horns later in the film. After soap-opera levels of drama at a Christmas party, Sloane outs Harper in front of family and friends, Abby included. Instead of admitting to her relationship, Harper once again denies that she is a lesbian. Finally getting the hint that she’s dating a monster, Abby takes off with her friend John (played by Dan Levy). As with all holiday romance movies, Abby gets intercepted by Harper, on her way home. After a dramatic conversation and a lot of excuses, Abby forgives her and they live happily ever after.
After the antics Harper pulled, she deserves to die single. Yet, for some reason, the movie tries to convince us she deserves forgiveness. Harper demonstrated twice, that when the going gets tough, she’ll deny her sexuality and throw her girlfriend under the bus. That’s not something that should be swept under the rug or be viewed as par for the course in a queer relationship. Harper’s clearly uncomfortable with herself, or at the very least uncomfortable with sacrificing her family’s favor for her girlfriends. If that’s how she feels, she shouldn’t drag anyone else into it.
Though Harper’s terrible, she didn’t deserve to be outed. If a sibling outed me, I’d do more than smash a painting over her head and break bread with her the following morning just because it’s Christmas. This is yet another instance where the movie expects the audience to automatically forgive someone because a character did. Outing someone, especially so publicly and out of anger, is a traumatizing act of violence against LGBTQ+ people. It also sends the message that family can treat you however and you have to forgive them because they’re family. Maybe it also shows that toxicity runs in the family.
Ultimately, by Christmas morning, Abby, Harper, and the entire family have reconciled. Abby is invited to be part of the family photo. If her relationship was accepted that easily, it leaves the question of whether parents’ homophobia can be healed by a dramatic sister-fight and Christmas tree toppling, or if Abby created the issue in her own head. Regardless, her harmful actions were real and she showed she has no business being anyone’s girlfriend, fiancé, or wife. The resolution was lukewarm and strange, especially since Harper had to do nothing to earn her longtime girlfriend’s favor back, if that would even be possible at the point. Riley disappeared too, showing her only purpose in the film was to drop a lesbian truth-bomb. You’re left wondering whether Harper and Abby are better for being accepted by her family, or if the entire trip was a waste to begin with.
As for the audience, we’re left with one question: what is this movie’s message? If you’re queer, you just have to deal with toxic relationships? In 2020, the best you can hope for from a queer holiday movies is a bunch of harmful tropes and spoiled white people? The film offered nothing other than drama and toxicity, all of which is a regular Tuesday afternoon for a queer person. If this time of year, as the title claims, is the “Happiest Season”, I’m anxious for the summer.
