Self- Care or Self-Sabotage? There’s a Fine Line Between the Two

The phrases “self-care” and “treat yourself” probably evoke a vision of lavish spending and mall sprees. Maybe your idea of treating yourself is lying in the tub enjoying a bubble bath and an expensive bottle of wine. But often, we don’t stop to think whether we’re truly caring for ourselves, or indulging in our hedonism is creating more issues in the long-term. Here are a few categories where you might ask yourself: Is this self-care or self-sabotage?

Time Management:

• Self-Sabotage: You can’t do whatever you want whenever you want. Though it might feel good, you’ll eventually start to notice you’re slipping behind on important tasks, and you’re drowning in your to-do list.
• Self-Care: Set up a schedule for yourself and stick to it. Make sure you accomplish all your important tasks, but leave yourself time for breaks and time to recharge. A lot of people think down-time doesn’t belong on a schedule, but it definitely does!

Diet:

• Self-Sabotage: Eating whatever you want whenever you want. Yes, it’s totally fun to lie on your bed and scarf down that entire bag of chips. Make living off junk food a habit, and though it tastes good, you’ll notice you’ll start to lack energy, feel sick, and struggle to focus on important tasks.
• Self-Care: Eat a balanced diet. A real balanced diet isn’t keto, or fruits and vegetables only. It’s also not ONLY your favorite iced coffee 3 times a day. It’s enough of each food group for you to feel full and nourished (admitted, on some days this is much harder than others). A healthy diet also includes that ice cream you like, or that greasy burger every once in a while.

Spending:

• Self-Sabotage: It’s hard to resist the impulse to buy silly trinkets for a dopamine rush (Amazon Prime- hello?) or that cute shirt at the mall. Though the immediate feeling is great, those $10 purchases here and there add up. Soon you’ll realize that while you could have saved up for something nicer, you now have a bunch of useless things you don’t really care for, but only bought for a quick feel-good.
• Self- Care: You should definitely buy things for yourself when you can afford it (tip: If you can’t pay for something twice, you can’t afford it!) There’s nothing better than saving up for those concert tickets, or your new dream car to replace the beat-up one your parents got you on your 16th birthday. You work hard, and you can’t take your money with you when you go, so you may as well buy yourself something nice occasionally- but only if it’s something you will truly appreciate.

Social Life

• Self-Sabotage: Though it feels great to feel wanted, always getting dragged along to clubs, dinners, and games will eventually become emotionally exhausting (and exhausting on your wallet too!) Being everyone’s plus-one leaves no time for you to spend with yourself- which is essential for your mental health and. When you give all your time to other people, you end up feeling drained and forfeiting your own personal growth.
• Self-Care: It’s okay to say no to some people sometimes, even your best friends. Absence makes the hearth grow fonder. It’s hard to reflect and discover yourself when you’re constantly engaging with other people. If your friends and family truly care about you, they’ll understand that sometimes you have to skip that party in favor of a party for one- cue the Netflix, wine, and popcorn.

At the end of the day, we all want the best for ourselves. Self-care boils down to doing what you can to make sure you’re in the best mental space possible. The key is to find the balance between always doing only what you want- and hurting yourself in the process- and putting yourself in the position to do things you want without it hurting you in the long run.